My Dark, Gothic & Punk Era: Evolution

 

 

 

Last year of college: I traveled to NYC and saw a whole new world, perspectives, styles, and cultures.  That was the time I understood that traveling helps us grow and to mature.  Not saying that I came back transformed, but definitely something in me started to crave a CPR for a drowned desire in me.  

And when you feel that "tick" for a change, follow it.  You can take advice into consideration, but never move at strange rhythms; follow that anxiety that is telling you "hey go there, don't listen" and honor your intuition.  This, would had saved me tears and years of confusion.  Of course I was depressed, lost, confused and unable to take stable decisions; I was dancing a song that was not mine to dance.

I bought this dress specially for this photo session.  I wanted to finally get rid of restrictions and free the creative in me.

 

At a very young age my style was rock, punk and always felt this attraction for black outfits. Sadly, my external drive died and I lost a bunch of pictures from when I was a teenager at church.  Let me "confess" LOL that I also had a time of wanting to wear sexy, revealing clothing but again, "the church came to the rescue".  I had a friend at that time, that used to dress completely back.  She was honest with herself, her process, and honored who she was.  But in my house, I grew up listening that wearing black clothes was about calling death and strictly for funerals.  Then at church, they will tell me "how a princess of God should dress" and my punk-rock style was not it. 

 

 

In my room with a drugstore GE camera.  Dedication was real.

 

 

Black truly defined my style once I was able to embrace parts of my identity.  It felt so good and I felt so pretty, so me... It was the beginning of me feeling like a woman. 

 

Sad thing is that whenever somebody came to me trying to warn me about religion, I would push them away.  It was the programming that, even though it had it's cracks already, I was still under the spell. Exactly what happened to the protagonist of  the movie "Don't Worry Darling".  She was waking up, but whenever that push came from the outside, she would not listen.

 

 Read: Me Perdono

 

 

This picture was taken at a cemetery.  I had a bunch of pictures in here, but I lost them when my external drive died. You can't notice, but my headphones were "connected" to the tree.  Meaning I was finally in tune with was happening inside of me and I was enjoying it. 

 

 

I was experimenting with black shiny outfits and dark shades of lipstick.  At this point I owned a lot of elegant black clothing pieces and black color was officially part of my wardrobe. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I also experimented a lot with my hair and my room styles.

 

 

One of my favorite styles.

 

 

 

 

 

Of course this was a necessary phase to continue evolving and to know who I was, I don't dress black everyday.  I like some color too and that will be my next post: my colorful era which brought me the balance I have today.  I am so excited for this post because that was the time I started knowing about what colors best suits me, color patterns, textures, things like "soft autumn, summer, etc. 

PD: Real freedom came when I finally realized that I am not my story, not my achievements, not the material things I have.  I was craving HOME, and that home is realizing I am a free spirit.

Enjoy this short trip called life without attachments.  

Keep moving forward my friends.